2006.06.29

Yay! Talked to the doctor's office yesterday and the police this morning. The doctor has a notary friend around the corner from her office, and the police have a notary on site AND know what letter I'm talking about! Now if my two friends get their letters done, my dossier will be ready! Of course, African Adoption Services has to read my home study and let me know if Julie from Somewhere Home needs to make any changes, but I'm really close now!

2006.06.28

On the move! The paperwork arrived on the 14th (I was out of town) so as soon as I returned, I began killing trees - er - filling out paperwork. Aside from the $2,000 check I have to write now, I have gotten 8 passport-sized photos of myself, a notarized letter from my employer saying I'm employed, a notarized letter from the bank saying I have money there, a notarized copy of my birth certificate, a notarized letter from me to the government of Ethiopia, and three notarized letters granting power of attorney to someone in Ethiopia.

Now, I have to go to the doctor's office tomorrow for a notarized letter that I'm healthy enough to raise a kid, wait for two friends to write and notarize reference letters, and call the local police so THEY can also write me a notarized letter that I'm not a crook.

And NOTHING else can happen until this is all done! Oy!

2006.06.14

Checked the ol' bank account - my $1,400 hasn't cleared yet, which I'm assuming means they haven't processed my paperwork yet. Waiting so totally sucks!

2006.06.05

YAY! AAS sent me my application paperwork! I can finally move forward! I completed the paperwork this weekend and mailed it out (with another $1,400 check) today. Finally finally finally...

2006.04.04

Julie's finished the draft for the home study. I have to review it, as does the adoption agency I've chosen to work with (I'll call them African Adoption Services.) However, thanks to Angelina Jolie, suddenly the whole world wants to adopt from Ethiopia! Well, that's great for the kids, but sort of a bummer for me since AAS tells me there will be a three month wait now before they even start to process applications. Nuts. And to make it more stressful, I've paid about $3,000 in various fees to various folks thus far, using a line of credit I hoped to pay off with the adoption tax credit. But since it looks like I won't finalize the adoption this year, the expenses I've incurred this year may be ineligible. Big bummer!

2006.03.02

Yay! Finally! I started the home study tonight, and it was great. The social worker - Julie - was awesome and supportive and not at all concerned about my family or ability to do this. She has tons of experience and three kids whom she adopted from overseas. I am delighted. She even likes our pets!

2006.02.09

Well into the second round of application stuff now. Just got an email about more forms that I forgot to send in. I'm glad everyone is so careful, considering this is a kid's life we're talking about, but still - this is a lot of time to wait when I want to be a mom!

I've decided to drop the waiting child idea - the potential for a wait of an additional two years scared me a bit. I'm looking instead at Ethiopia, where there is a huge need, little guys are available, waiting times are much shorter, and the costs are less prohibitive.

2005.12.19

Now I know I've chosen the right agency - I decided to tell them about my experience with Children's World, and my fear that I might be rejected again, and here is the director's reply:
"We have several families (gay and otherwise) who don't fit the classic family. Provided there are not background issues or "red flags" regarding the characters of your family, there is no reason not to approvea family, trusting that a safe and loving home environment will be provided to the child. That's true of traditional families as well. We apply the same criteria to your family. The bigger issue for you willl be the choice of child referral services, countries, considering your "non-traditional family." Where were you thinking of adopting from and do those sources have any concerns? That will be a bigger hurdle than home study approval per se. We find many of our families (traditional as well) have big challenges in navigating the U.S. waiting children route for special needs. In our experience, despite all the hype (adoptive families needed), the matching process is abysmal and in the dark ages. Families wait and wait to get matched, sometimes more than 2 years, even for the most special needs."

How cool is that?

2005.12.16

I've chosen a new homestudy agency (I'll call them Somewhere Home) - they do the homestudy, and then can provide it to any adoption agency in the country. That gives me a lot of freedom! I'm re-completing the zillion forms I filled out for Children's World again. I feel pretty gun shy - not as excited as the first time, but that's probably because I don't want to get my hopes up.

2005.12.8

I vented my huge disappointment to folks on a single-parent adoption list serve, and heard lots of encouraging stuff - including that there are more "single-parent-friendly" agencies than Children's World. I've begun contacting them and will choose another soon!

2005.12.06

I am stunned. Sally basically told me that she feels I'm not ready to be a parent, and that "waiting child adoption was not a good option" for me at this time. She felt my family (my dad and his partner live with me) would be "confusing" for a kid. I am totally numb. Every single person I've told about my plans has been wildly supportive. I had more reference letters than I knew what to do with. The parents of all my students were thrilled to hear about the adoption, and volunteered to write letters and help in any way they could. Folks who have known me for years think me adopting kids is the greatest idea ever, but this lady who met with me for 45 minutes thinks I'm not a good candidate. I am so stunned I can't even cry.

2005.12.01

The letter came! The social worker's name is Sally, and I have a meeting with her on December 6th. I expect she'll ask more questions about my background and my hope for the kids I want to adopt. I can hardly wait!

2005.11.14

Finally! They got the letter from the counselor. Now I can move forward! The "snail mail" letter telling me who my assigned social worker is should arrive any day now. I am so excited!

2005.10.28

Children's World contacted me today to tell me they still haven't heard from that one counselor yet! Oh my gosh; my life is on hold while I wait for one guy to write a one page note! I can't stand it! I contacted him and he promised to do it...

2005.10.07

They tell you it takes a long time and you have to be patient! But man oh man - the classes ended in July, and my application isn't even complete yet. I had to write a 25 page "essay" and did that in one long day, but compiling all the rest of the stuff is taking forever. I and everyone in the house had to get fingerprinted, had to fill out a zillion background check forms, had to list every law broken - as in every traffic ticket ever - and the addresses of any counselors we've ever seen. Finally got it all in to Children's World, and now they are waiting to hear from one counselor. Hopefully any day now, it will be complete, and I'll be able to move forward!

2005.07.28

Yay! Finally! My adoption classes started today. They're all day today and tomorrow, and then Monday night. I'm learning tons about the special challenges waiting kids face, and I'm feeling really confident in my ability to handle it. This agency - I'll call them Children's World - has amazing resources for parents and kids, both before and after the adoption.

2005.07.01

I've gotten some paperwork from the agencies and the county. I've chosen the agency I want to go with; they've got a great repuation and their information seemed really professional. I've completed an on-line application, and am signed up for their information classes. Which don't start until late July! Oy! And you cannot move forward at all unless you attend a class, so I have nothing to do now but wait. Sigh.

2005.06.07

(Even though it's been a year, I've decided to blog my adoption journey from the beginning. It started on a weekend in June 2005.)

After thinking about it for a year, I've decided to adopt a kid. I want to be a mom; I know I'll be good at it; and I've always believed in adoption.

I'm contacting local adoption agencies as well as the county about "waiting kids," kids for whom adoption is a challenge due to age or disability. I even have a pair of boys picked out - 9 and 1 year old!