2010.09.20

So I have learned that parental lies come from panic:
Henry: Mom, how do they sing with those masks on? ("They" being Batman and Spiderman.)
Me: Um - sing?
H: Yeah, like, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh BATMAN! And Spiderman, spiderman...
M: Um - they don't sing...
H: But where does the music come from?
M: Um - the chorus...
H: Who's that?
M: Um - people... you can't see them... they are nearby and they sing those songs...
H: Why?
M: Because Batman and Spiderman like it...

2010.09.10

A note to Henry's teacher:

Dear Ms. Kary,

At our family Rosh Hashanah dinner, we had this discussion:

Me: What country are you studying in school?
Henry: Sweden! Sweden is like cob on the corn.
M: Sweden is like…
H: Yes Ms. Kary told me that.
M: Um…
H: And dead comb leeten moose!
M: (to family) Did I just have a stroke, or is he no longer speaking English?
M: What did you just say, honey? The comb…
H: No, Mom, like, you know, dead. Dead comb!
M: (with barely suppressed hysteria, over the choking of our dinner guests) And a comb, like for your hair?
H: Leeten moose!
M: What is “leeten”?
H: A place in Africa!!
M: (now also choking, and with tears) And a moose?
H: (impatient now) Why are you guys laughing? These are words in our class. I will show them to you. Dead comb leeten moose.
(entire table is now in hysterics)
H: Mom, today my apple was red AND green!

I am SO HOPING you can interpret…

- Elisabeth, Henry’s very confused mom